Power Rangers Samurai Parody
by Beo X
Summary: Just when you thought you knew the Power Rangers Samurai, think again. This is how things would play out for the Rangers in real life if the characters knew they were being watched. Beware the comedy, bluntness, cliches, and self realization the characters make on their own.


_Dear Power Ranger Samurai fans, please don't take this story as an insult, I'm simply making fun of how they do things and added in some realism that make the storyline nearly pointless at times. So have a good laugh and enjoy the story._

_**Power Rangers Samurai Parody**_

**A day in a Life of a Power Ranger Samurai**

**Created by Some Random Person**

It's a beautiful day at the Shiba Household. All is well and peaceful, but we all know what usually happens in a Power Rangers series, so that peace is just BS waiting to happen. Jayden just woke up and felt great. As he got out of bed, he started a monologue thinking nobody was staring at him. Jayden said righteously, "Today is the day I become the Red Samurai Ranger and lead others who I know will need me because I'm the main characters and ever ranger team needs a red. I mean I've never heard of a Ranger team lead by another color except that white from generations ago, but that was the first and last time a Red Ranger was ever a co-leader. Now it's time to get my Samurizer and make some enemies so I can kick their ass. I wonder if that Master Xandred is still alive after my dad killed him so we can be enemies and I can show my awesomeness." As Jayden walked out the room, Mentor Ji appeared out of the corner and punched him while yelling out, "Dodge!" Jayden fell to the ground hurt and couldn't believe he was hit. Mentor Ji said in a righteous tone, "Jayden you disappointment me. A leader must always be aware of their enemy or risk getting hit in the face, or killed." Jayden said, "But Mentor, this is a kid friendly series, the Rangers always win and the monsters always delay on attacking." Mentor Ji said, "Dam the rules! If it were realistic like our Japanese counterparts, nobody would be complaining." Mike then appeared trying to hit Mentor Ji, but was countered and kicked as Mentor Ji yelled out, "Dodge!" Mike hit the wall hard and was angry. Mia then popped through the wall and yelled out for no reason as she ran to Jayden and Mike, "Jayden, Mike, Jayden, Mike, Jayden, Mike!" Mentor Ji then sensed another and tried to attack, but it was only a pillow. Kevin then popped out from the side screen drop kicking Mentor Ji yelling out, "Dodge!" Mentor Ji was hit in the face and flew through a door. When he re-appeared he looked angry and then smiled, "Now that's what I call a leader. You are very fierce!" Jayden, Kevin, Mike, and Mia looked at Mentor Ji weird as men don't use that word, women do. Emily then came out and asked in a very low voice, "What's going on?" None of them could hear her and she walked to a speaker asking, "What's going on?" Mentor Ji said annoyed, "I really hate your low voice. I am not trying to be cruel or biased because you are a woman, but I really wished you had brother since dealing with a women is not what I do." Mia then ran over to Emily yelling out, "Emily!" Mike said annoyed, "Mia will you stop already. I could just trip and you get a whole heart attack while screaming out my name. I really wish we could have a Purple Samurai instead of you because you're so dramatic." Kevin then said as a light shined on him leaving the others in the shadows, "We must stop this fighting at once. We are Rangers and it is our destiny to fight Master Xandred as our parents have. Now who is with me?" Just as somebody was going to respond, a screen opened and it was Antonio in fishing gear with a pole in some water on the floor that was shaped as a circle, "I got nothing else to do." Kevin said, "Come Mentor Ji, let us decided on our colors and do righteous battle!" Mentor Ji said, "I love your passion Kevin, let us meet in the meeting room." The six met in the room and Mentor Ji appeared in a crystal ball coming down from the ceiling. Only his head could be seen and the six were shocked he took the whole introduction of powers so seriously. Suddenly a random Puertorican Guy appeared through the window and shot a rock, while yelling out, "Floating Fucking Head," and ran away. The crystal ball broke making Mentor Ji land on his face and he got up saying, "I can not even make a grand entrance without being attacked, which is not fierce at all." Jayden yelled out annoyed, "Men don't say fierce, only women do." Mentor Ji said, "Okay, I was simply trying to see if I could make it cool, but you really ruined the moment. Now back to business. Within this case lies great power only meant for you 5." Emily asked, "What about Antonio, isn't he apart of Samurai culture?" Mentor Ji replied, "Please use the speaker Emily, you know we all hate your voice because we can barely hear you." Emily grabbed a speaker and said, "What about Antonio, he's not from Samurai culture like us?" Mentor Ji replied, "Shut up will you. Power Rangers makes no sense and he is just another plot hole along with Jayden's sister Megan who is also a Red Samurai Ranger." The group was shocked except Antonio who said not caring, "I saw that coming and she's a bigger plot hole than I am. In the Japanese Version, Jayden's counterpart has a sister and knows about it but Jayden has no idea and just learns. I really hate the writers." Jayden said, "I have a sister? When did this happen?" Mentor Ji replied, "It does not matter. Now to choose who will get what power. Also a quick note, there will be an interview afterwards so people will see your face on TV." Mike said unsure, "Is that really a safe idea? I mean people will know who we are once we appear." Mentor Ji replied, "Do not worry. That is another plot hole which everyone will forget once a monster appears. It is ridiculous, but who really cares as long as something happens." Megan than appeared through the door, "Hey Mentor Ji, sorry for being late, but I got caught up in something that was way more important than this." Mentor Ji said annoyed, "Just sit already you spoiled princess." Megan sat upset. Mentor Ji opened the case and walked up to each person handing them their colored Samurizer. "Megan, you are the Red Female Samurai and second in command, but I doubt you will be around, so grab it and stay around for the first fight anyway. Jayden, you were supposed to be the Red Samurai, but your awareness is crap, so instead you will be the Gold Samurai Ranger." Jayden said upset, "Are you serious! This is my house and my dad put you in charge to raise me to be a leader." Mentor Ji said, "Okay, I will test you one more time. What did the five fingers say to the face?" Jayden thought about it and replied, "Whazz up!" Mentor Ji then punched him while yelling out, "Dodge!" Jayden flew back hurt and said, "On second thought the Gold Samurai doesn't sound so bad." Mentor Ji walked to the others one by one, "Kevin, you are the Red Samurai Ranger as you do look the part. Mike, you are the Blue Samurai Ranger because green is not working with you. Antonio, you are the green as that is the only male color left. Mia, you are the Yellow Samurai Ranger because yellow looks better on you. Finally, Emily, you are the Pink Samurai Ranger because just like pink, you annoy me." They all put on their morphers and lined up. They then changed to their Samurai form as they made their colored symbol and slashed it changing to their ranger form. There was a knock on the door and Mentor Ji lead the way as cameras appeared. The group takes off their helmets and was interviewed. It was very weird as the news reporter woman wasn't really asking questions, but more of never shutting up and giving herself the questions, so they barely spoke. The same random Puertorican Guy then appeared, "I hope you all know this is pointless. It's going to take you at least 2 years to kill every monster only because you waste so much time on stupid shit." Mentor Ji said, "Leave the monsters to us and you stay ignorant to what really happens." The Puertorican Guy then walked away. At the entrance of the city, Bulk and Spike appeared. Spike asked, "Uncle Bulk, is it really safe here knowing we could be attacked knowing the town is always in danger?" Bulk replied, "Spike, you make one hell of a point. I was going to train you to be a Samurai, but that would be a huge waste of time, so just like those black people in paranormal activity, we gone!" They then ran away from the city. In the Sinzu River, Master Xandred just woke up from a long sleep finding a note on his ship saying, "Captain, we realized we could do better. The only one who couldn't was Dayu, but she's not all the important anyways, so I put up a rental sign, so hopefully others will appear soon." Master Xandred wasn't happy. Dayu was in the mirror looking at herself and Master Xandred demanded she attack the Samurai Rangers, but she denied as her looks were more important. He then sent another Nighlock in her place. As he appeared in the park, he looked like a squid elephant with bear claws. "Time to round up some fresh meat." The rangers then appeared as the alarm went off and the Shiba house was alerted. Mentor Ji said dramatically, "Rangers you are needed, now get you asses to that park and do what every other ranger before you has done." They rushed out changing as they clashed with their symbol power and ran down the street while people were looking at them wondering why they don't have a ride and what's up with the suits. The Nighlock attacked the people talking way too much about what he was going to do to them and was ready to really kill them until the Rangers appeared. The Nighlock said feeling stupid, "Why do us villains always take so long to get to the point? That won't happen again." Just as the Rangers looked like they were going to do something awesome, they wasted about 1 minute doing 10 poses, 1 minutes on a long not needed catchphrase, and saw the Nighlock already done taking peoples energy. The Rangers don't even run after the Nighlock like any sane person, instead they did too many flips, cartwheels, and back flips that only proved in battle they were near useless. They barely got in any hits as the Nighlock just blasted them and ran away. They finally acted normal and trapped him in the corner where they fought and he was beaten with their special attacks, only after getting beat up for 10 minutes realizing they have a special attack to begin with. While they were fighting, they used some of the most outrageous words that made no sense. The Nighlock said, "Time to put you rangers out of space and time." Jayden said, "Time is roast a squid and serve him up." Kevin said, "Fried or raw, you are going to the birds." Mike said, "Let's cut and dice till there's nothing left of you." Antonio said, "Let's just kill him already and enough of the outrageous dialogue because it's leading us nowhere." Mia said, "Now I'm at a lost, you completely ruined what I was going to say Antonio." Emily said, "Old people food is the best to eat." They all looked at her weird and heard what she said that time. Megan said annoyed, "What's the point in fighting when special attacks always kill the monster anyway?" Kevin replied, "It must be done, so just stick to whatever what was written." As the Nighlock was beaten and killed by explosion, the Rangers turned around to do an over the top victory pose which wasn't needed. The Nighlock then turned giant. Just as the Rangers were going to go into mega mode, Deker appeared, "Red Ranger, I have come for the ultimate duel that will satisfy my swords urge of battle." Kevin replied, "You really have to come now of all times. We are about to battle a monster and we have to duel now." Jayden said, "That could have been me you know." Deker said, "Fine, but now you all have to see my commercial." The Nighlock and Rangers looked annoyed and agreed as long as he left afterwards. A big screen TV then appeared and it was Deker in a suit. "Hey there mortals and Nighlock, you tired of being a whole being knowing you could be better? Then try my newest product half and half. It makes humans Nighlock and Nighlock humans. I have nothing else to say because I'm Deker and if you don't buy it I will kill you all. So remember what's not bad for one half simply makes the other fierce." The director said, "Cut! Deker you know that makes no sense." Deker said, "I was thinking out side the box." The director said, "Let's end it differently can we." They tried 5 more times but Deker only made it worse. It was: Half is better than dead, monster no I'm a human too, I wasn't thinking about what the side affects were, I was bored and thought it was cool, and I'm going to die so sue me if you aren't happy. As the TV turned off, they all looked at Deker. Megan said, "You're such a prick." Deker said dramatically, "At least I tried to do something different unlike you Rangers. It's the same thing every season and I quite so screw all of you." He then walked away. Kevin said, "Now back to the battle." They all yelled out mega mode and waited for 3 minutes until the Zords finally appeared when they changed. The giants were fighting and causing damage everywhere. Kevin said, "Time to make this Nighlock go night night!" The Nighlock said, "But I'm not tired yet." Antonio said pissed off, "It's just a catchphrase to kill you! How dumb are you Nighlocks?" The Nighlock replied, "It's not my fought I'm created by people who have no idea what a real monster is." The combined Zords used its special attack and destroyed the Nighlock. As the Zord turned around, it did 3 unneeded poses. The first was a punch to the air, the second was a spin on its back, and the third was a back flip. The Rangers were happy the battle was over and their Zord suddenly changed pink. It was somehow bedazzled and they all yelled out, "Pinkypie!" Pinkypie appeared from the corner of a building and laughed like she did nothing wrong followed by running on a rainbow and disappeared. In the Sinzu River, Master Xandred was talking to himself. "I can't believe I lost to those Rangers. This is not what I planned when I started centuries ago to rule the world." Dayu then interrupted him in the middle of his speech, "Master Xandred, why are you so loud?" Master Xandred replied, "Because I can. I can't even have my own moment on my boat without someone complaining." Dayu said, "I only ask because our neighbors can hear you." Master Xandred said shocked, "What neighbors?" As he looked out the window, he saw two pirate ships. One was the Black Pearl with Captain Jack Sparrow and the other had Captain Hook. Jack said, "Hello mate, you wouldn't happen to have some rum would you?" Hook said, "Or a treasure would be nice. Gold coins are my hobby." Master Xandred asked annoyed, "How are you here and why aren't your ships burning? This river is made of fire, so you two should be dead." Jack replied, "I am dead, I was eaten by an octopus or a giant squid and was only left with this annoying immortal monkey who never dies." Hook said, " I was trying for many years to capture a little boy who had treasure just to discover I was too late to change my life and died of old age." Master Xandred said upset, "I hate my neighbors already." The Rangers returned to the Shiba House and Antonio goes back to fishing in his corner. Jayden said, "Hey Antonio, I knew we grew up together and all, but how the hell do you always find a spot to fish in." Antonio asked, "What do you mean?" Jayden mentioned a desert, very dry lake, muddy area, tall apartment complex, forest, maze, and mountains. Antonio replied, "Everyone here is stupid and fishing helps me. Besides it's another plot hole, it doesn't have to make sense just as long as nobody really thinks about it." Jayden knew that was pointless and left him alone. The Rangers met up an hour later as Mentor Ji called them. "Rangers, great job! You have defeated a Nighlock and your victory was well worth the effort." Kevin asked, "Are there more Mentor Ji?" Mentor Ji laughed and then took out a board revealing many Nighlocks. "It will be awhile before we finish. I say about 2 years worth." Megan said, "Okay I'm done. Just called me when you have three monsters left because I could actually have a life, bye" Megan then left the Shiba House. There was then a knock on the door and it was the random Puertorican Guy, "So was I right about the 2 year fights?" Mentor Ji replied, "Yes, but the effort will be well worth it once the Nighlock and Master Xandred are destroyed?" The random Puertorican Guy said dramatically, "I told you, but no, no body ever listens to the guy who sees outside the box and knows what's going to happen before it happens." He then walked away mad. Antonio then looked sad and said, "I envy that guy for being who he is, I don't remember why I wanted to a Samurai anyway." Mentor Ji then told the girls to meet him in a room. They waited and he appeared. Mia asked, "What's wrong Mentor Ji?" He didn't speak and Megan popped through the window yelling out, "Dodge!" Mia was punched and Emily was kicked in the face. Mentor Ji replied, "I am a man and not allowed to hit women, but Megan could and I just wanted to prove you both will suffer as the men. So once in a while you will be attacked when you least expect it." Megan said, "I'm just happy I can help" and jumped through the window. As Mentor Ji left the room, the guys came in and felt bad for the girls. Mike said, "Let me guess, Megan appeared and hit you both." Emily replied, "Yeah." Jayden said, "Now you know how we feel when Mentor Ji attacks us to keep us focused. Don't try to stop it, just learn to take it." The guys helped the girls up and walked out of the Shiba House to enjoy the day. Bulk and Spike then appeared. Spike said, "Why did we leave again uncle Bulk?" Bulk replied, "Simple, we're smarter than most people and staying in a place where we can die is not smart, it's stupid. We just came back to get our things and we'll never come back again." Spike said after they grabbed all their clothes, "So we gone?" Bulk replied in a serious tone, "We gone!" They ran away again like cowards until they couldn't be seen anymore near the city.


End file.
